FORGIVENESS

Chapter 4

            Two days. Two days with no change in his condition. The warmth of his skin, the gentle rise and fall of his chest assured them that Bo was still alive but he just wouldn’t open his eyes. They all took turns sitting with him and talking to him, trying to get him to wake up but he didn’t respond to anyone, not even the cousin he considered his brother and his best friend. Luke didn’t want to leave his side, he needed to be there when he opened his eyes. He had to be the first thing Bo saw so he would know that he wasn’t alone. He had to make him understand just how sorry Luke was about what had happened. Even when he couldn’t be in the room with him, Luke sat in the waiting room or pulled a chair up in the hallway and just watched Bo through the window. The nurses soon learned to work around him when he did that. They didn’t really object, it was sweet to see how devoted he seemed to be to his cousin. They were all anxious for the young man to wake up too. It was always more difficult for them to work with someone so young who had been hurt so badly. But it was part of their job and they had to do it more times then they would have liked.

            Jesse had tried to get Luke to go home with him and Daisy but he had refused. Until he knew that his cousin would be all right he wasn’t about to leave the hospital. He slept when he could, usually sitting up in a chair or sometimes stretched out on one of the couches in the waiting room although neither alternative was very relaxing and hardly made for a good nights sleep. Luke drank so much coffee that he was wired all the time and he ate whatever he could find in the vending machines.  One of the nurses felt sorry for him and started bringing him a burger and fries from McDonalds when she came back from her own supper break. Luke’s nerves were shot and he was exhausted but he still would not leave.

            He glanced up at the clock on the wall behind the nurse’s station. It was time to see Bo again. Shoving himself to his feet, he slowly walked down the hall and went into Bo’s room. Just like he always did when he sat with him, Luke pulled up a chair on the right side of the bed, and took Bo’s hand in both of his, holding on tightly. “Come on, cuz…..you have to wake up sooner or later.” He said in almost a pleading tone. He let his eyes focus on his cousin’s face looking for any sign that he even knew that he was there but there was nothing. Almost absentmindedly, he reached out and ran his thumb over the dark circles under Bo’s eyes. His face was badly bruised from the accident but the bruises were slowly starting to fade. After being hit by the car, Bo had been thrown into the windshield and then to the pavement. Besides his internal injuries, which included a ruptured spleen and a collapsed lung, he also had three broken ribs and the severe head injury that was keeping him in a coma. Jesse had told Luke that Cooter had seen everything. When Bo saw the car turning the corner and speeding towards Luke, he had yelled Luke’s name trying to warn him but Luke had ignored him. So Bo had ran after him but by the time he reached the spot where Luke had been, Luke was already past the point of impact so Bo had been the one who got hit by the car instead. When his fifteen minute time limit was up, Luke slowly walked back out into the waiting room and sat back down staring sightlessly at the TV sitting in the corner of the room.

            When Daisy and Jesse arrived at the hospital they found Luke sleeping in a chair in the waiting room. He looked exhausted. Jesse decided that Luke was going home with them at least for the night even if he didn’t want to. He needed a decent night’s sleep in his own bed. Jesse knew that Luke would argue with him about it but Jesse had his mind made up and he could be just as stubborn as Luke when he got a mind to. Stubbornness ran in the Duke family and both Jesse and Luke had more than their share.

            Jesse gently shook Luke’s shoulder and said his name. His eyes flew open, a sudden fear flashing through them as he looked into his Uncle’s gentle lined face. “Bo?” he said, his first thought automatically being about his cousin.

            “Shhhh…” Jesse shushed him soothingly “Bo’s just fine. But you ain’t…..you need to come home with us tonight so you can get some proper rest.”

            “I can’t….I have to stay with Bo.” Luke said insistently, straightening himself up his chair and flexing his shoulders to work out the kinks.

            “Lucas…” Jesse said in a mildly warning tone and using Luke’s given name to show that he was serious “You are coming home with us tonight and I don’t wanna hear no more arguing about it. You won’t do Bo no good if you wear yourself out and end up in here with him. I’ll make sure the nurses know to call us right away if anything happens.”

            “Yes, sir….” Luke said in a resigned tone knowing this was one argument he wasn’t going to win with Jesse.

            “Sugar, you have to stop blaming yourself for what happened.” Daisy said as she sat down in the chair beside her oldest cousin and reached out to slip her arm around his shoulders. “It was an accident….nobody blames you…..least of all Bo….”

            “It was my fault….” Luke said grimly “If I hadn’t been arguing with him and then walked away…..if I hadn’t been mad….I would have seen that car…I wouldn’t have walked out in front of it…”

            “Nobody is saying you did any of that on purpose…..it was an accident.” Daisy said still trying to get through to her cousin who continued to insist on blaming himself for Bo getting hurt. “Why can’t you see that, Luke?”

            “It should be me lying in that bed, not Bo….I’m the one who was dumb enough to walk out in front of that car….”

            “And if Bo had been the one to walk out in that street…..then you would have done exactly the same thing that he did.” Daisy told him

            “I shouldn’t have gotten mad at him in the first place….not over Becky Sue.” Luke said

            “And Bo shouldn’t have been flirting with her in front of you.” Daisy said “Not when he knew you were still going out with her.”

            “We should never have been fighting over a dang girl in the first place.” Luke said with a hard edge to his voice, still not willing to let go of his guilt over the accident.

Daisy sighed softly. She knew she would never be able to get through to Luke. He wouldn’t let go of the guilt until Bo woke up and Luke could tell him that he was sorry for their fight. But Daisy knew it went deeper than that. Luke had always been the one who took care of and protected his younger cousins and she sensed that he felt as if he had failed to protect Bo this time that Bo had gotten hurt because of him. And he was letting that guilt eat him up alive. She hated to see Luke hurting like this but she knew she couldn’t fix it. Only Bo could do that. He just had to wake up first.

            Jesse knew what Luke was going through and he knew that nobody was going to make Luke stop blaming himself for what had happened. That was just Luke’s way. He had always been the one who took the blame when either one of his younger cousins got hurt, holding himself responsible even when he wasn’t. It was one of the character traits that made Luke the man he was and made the three cousins so close. But at times like this it could also be a weakness that made Luke more vulnerable than he usually was.

Poor Luke. Don’t ya just wanna give him a hug and tell him that it’s gonna be ok? You know what to do. Please feed the muse. Hit that button and review!