FORGIVENESS

Chapter 3

            “Boy, will you sit down before you wear a hole in that danged carpet?” Jesse said in a gentle voice, his worried eyes watching his nephew carefully. He ignored Jesse and continued pacing, too upset to sit down. Part of his mind heard what his Uncle had said to him but most of his mind was still focused solely on his cousin’s welfare. Three pairs of eyes looked up anxiously each time those doors opened and a doctor came into the waiting room but he always said some other patient’s name and not the one they were all waiting so desperately to hear. They had already been waiting for almost three hours and they knew that the longer it took without hearing any news, the more serious the injuries probably were.

            He had already memorized every thread in the carpet and the number of steps from one end of the room to the other, when a doctor finally stepped through those doors and looked around, calling out “Duke Family…”

Jesse and Daisy both jumped to their feet and he stopped his pacing so he could join his family to hear the news none of them was really sure they wanted to hear. “I’m Jesse Duke.” Jesse said as the doctor walked across the room towards them “How is he?” he demanded before the doctor had a chance to say anything. “How’s my boy?”

“Mr. Duke,” the doctor said solemnly “I’m Doctor Pyle. Your nephew was seriously injured. He had several internal injuries and he lost a tremendous amount of blood. He also has a severe head injury and I’m afraid he’s slipped into a coma.”

“But he’s gonna be okay, isn’t he?” Daisy asked struggling to keep the tremor out of her voice.

“It’s really too soon to tell.” The doctor responded “The next forty-eight hours are the critical ones. If he survives that long then he has a fighting chance.”

“Can we see him?” Jesse asked trying to speak past the lump that suddenly rose in his throat. The thought of losing either one of his nephews terrified him. Those boys were like his own sons and not just his nephews. They both meant the world to him.

“It’ll be awhile yet. He’s still in surgery and then they’ll be moving him into the ICU. After the nurses have him settled in, I’ll have someone let you know so you can see him,” The doctor told them. He turned and walked away leaving a saddened family behind him. The news had been worse than they had anticipated. Jesse and Daisy returned to their seats to continue waiting while he went back to his restless pacing back and forth.

Time passes slowly when you are waiting in a hospital. You learn where every crack in the floor is and can identify every nurse by her first name. Nothing distracts you from the reason that you’re there. The health of someone you love. Pacing the floor becomes second nature as you glance up at the clock to discover that only a few minutes have passed since the last time you looked.  And with each minute that passes without anyone telling you anything, your anxiety level rises along with your doubts and your fear.

The concerned family waited for another two hours waiting anxiously for someone to tell them that they could finally see him, even if it was only for a few minutes. Finally, a middle-aged nurse walked over to where they were sitting (or pacing since he still refused to sit down) and smiled sweetly. “The doctor asked me to show you to the ICU.” She said using that quiet voice that people tend to use in a hospital setting.

The family followed her over to the elevators and stepped inside of one of them. She pushed the button for the third floor and smiled at the family as the doors slid shut. When the doors slid open again, they all stepped out at the third floor. Nodding at the woman on duty behind the desk at the nurse’s station, she led them to the first room on the left. There was a observation window next to the door through which family members could look into the room even if they could not go inside. The nurse opened the door and the family followed her into the room. “You can only stay for fifteen minutes at a time and after this, only one of you can come in at a time.” She told them as she backed out of the room, closing the door quietly behind her and leaving them alone with their injured family member.

Jesse immediately crossed the room and stood beside the bed. He looked down at his nephew, his eyes burning with unshed tears. He looked so small and vulnerable lying there. If it wasn’t for the unnatural pallor of his skin and the various machines that were hooked up to him to monitor his condition, you could almost fool yourself into thinking that he was merely sleeping. Careful not to disturb the IV inserted into the back of his left hand, Jesse gently reached down to caress his arm, trying to reassure him and let him know somehow that his family was there with him. Daisy did the same, gently reaching out to rub his shoulder comfortingly. His troubled cousin stood back, unsure what to do. He wanted to comfort him too but he was ashamed. After all, it was his fault that he was here in the first place. Finally, Jesse glanced over at him when he didn’t come any closer and saw the fear in his eyes and the distraught look on his handsome face.

Walking to the young man’s side, Jesse slipped his arm around his shoulders and said firmly “I know what you’re thinking but none of this is your fault. It was just a stupid accident….that’s all. Now get over there with him where you belong.”

The young man hesitated but finally obeyed his Uncle, stepping up to his cousin’s right side. Reaching down, he gently took his injured cousin’s right hand in his hands and held on tightly, fighting back the tears that threatened to overwhelm him at any moment. In a shaky voice he said “I’m sorry, cuz….I’m so sorry….” He bowed his head to avoid looking into Jesse or Daisy’s eyes as he felt the guilt washing over him like a tidal wave. He didn’t care what Jesse had said. It was his fault and if his cousin died because of him, then he would never be able to forgive himself.

All of their lives Jesse had installed in them love and loyalty to the family. He had taught them that the family was the most important thing and the only thing that really mattered. In the end, even if you lost everything you owned, you still had your family to depend on. And he had forgotten one of the most important lessons that Jesse had always tried to teach them. That Dukes don’t fight Dukes. And now because of a stupid fight, the one person who meant more to him than anyone else in the world was lying on the bed in front of him and may never be the same again. The guilt was eating him up inside and he knew that it would continue to do just that until his cousin opened his eyes and told him that he forgave him for what had happened. But he had a bad feeling that might not happen anytime soon.

“We’re going to step outside so you two can be alone for a few minutes.” Jesse told him quietly, slipping his arm around Daisy’s waist “Take your time and tell him whatever it is you need to say.” As the door closed behind them, he finally let the tears he had been struggling to hold back slip down his face. Leaning in close to his cousin’s ear, he whispered “Open your eyes, cuz…please open your eyes…..I never meant for you to get hurt….”  When he didn’t show any sign of responding, the other man swallowed hard and straightened up. Turning, he slowly walked out of the room and into the hallway to join his Uncle and Daisy. Jesse looked at his tear streaked face and gently pulled him into his arms, patting him gently on the back. In a soft soothing voice he said “It’s gonna be okay, Luke…Bo’s gonna be alright. You have to keep believing that.”