T'was
The Night Before Christmas....Hazzard Style
Adaptation by Lisa Philbrick
T'was
the night before Christmas,
And
all through the jail,
Not
a soul was behind bars,
Not
a dollar's worth of bail,
The
stockings were hung around Boss's office door with care,
In
hopes that St. Nick would soon be there (with money!),
The
deputies were all home, snug in their beds,
While
visions of speed trap bounty danced in their heads.
MaryAnne
with her jacket and I with my hat,
Had
just settle down, to sneak a snoozin' nap,
When
out on the front lawn there arose such a clatter,
I
sprang from the booking desk to see what was the matter.
Away
to the window, nearly stepping on Flash (sorry!)
I
lifted the blinds and threw back the sash
The
moon on the chrome of Boss's Caddy
Gave
the luster of mid-day to the Fury's and Paddy (Wagon if we had
one LOL)
When,
what to my wonderin' eyes should there be,
Bo
and Luke Duke and their car, the General Lee.
The
two drivers, so lively and quick,
Paused
for only a moment, next to Maverick,
More
rapid than race cars, their coursers they came,
And
they whistled and shouted and called us by name
"Hey
Rosco! MaryAnne! Hey Bandit and Flash!
We'd
call for Boss but he'd only come if we had cash!
From
the border of Chickasaw! to the old town hall!
We
come with gifts! courtesy of the local mall!"
As
dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When
they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So
around the town square, the cousins they flew
With
a Charger full of toys and the Duke boys too.
And
then, in a twinkling, I heard like wind in the wire,
the
screeching and peeling of each little tire.
As
I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
In
through the doors, the Duke boys came with a bound.
Bo
was dressed in yellow, Luke in plaid,
And
their clothes were no different from what they had always had;
A
sack full of goodies was flung on their backs,
And
they looked like peddlers just opening their packs.
They
spoke not a word, but went straight to their work,
And
filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
They
saw me watching, and they both flashed a grin,
Then
ran out the door, inviting me to chase them again
They
sprang to their car, the Dixie horn gave a "whistle"
And
away they raced like the down of a thistle
But
I heard them exclaim as they roared out of sight
"Happy
Christmas to all and to all a Good Night!"